


He can play the wolf for the evening

by lanyon



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 06:14:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2955257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanyon/pseuds/lanyon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"How am I going to tell Captain America that I stole a dog?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	He can play the wolf for the evening

**Author's Note:**

  * For [17pansies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/17pansies/gifts).



> +A holiday gift for **17pansies** , based on the TFLN prompt: _(304): You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him._  
>  +Title from Tori Amos

TO: **Katie-Kate**  
 _Hey you know that dog thats always tied up outside Harry Kellys? The one that belongs to Murphys daughter or whatever?_

FROM: **Katie-Kate**  
 _Yes, I know that dog._

TO **Katie-Kate**  
 _What if I told you that dog is in my apartment RIGHT NOW_

FROM: **Katie-Kate**  
 _You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him._

TO: **Katie-Kate**  
 _Dog is a lady dog_

TO **Katie-Kate**  
 _Im keeping her_

TO **Katie-Kate**  
 _Her owner is shit anyway_

TO **Katie-Kate**  
 _Who keeps a dog tied up outside a bar every single nite anyway_

TO **Katie-Kate**  
 _Anyway shes pregnant._

TO **Katie-Kate**  
 _The dog not the owner_

FROM **Katie-Kate**  
 _CLINT BARTON YOU STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE_

.

Kate should be used to Clint by now but stealing other people’s dogs is a new low for him. Yes, the owner in question is pretty neglectful but Kate feels sorry for her. She’s caught up with a bad crowd and never stood a chance. Honestly, Kate blames the parents. And Harry Kelly’s happy hour that lasts from three o’clock in the afternoon until the small hours of the morning. 

Clint is in his apartment, his feet on the coffee table that’s actually a wooden crate but not in a hipster way. 

“You stole a dog.”

“The dog followed me and Lucky home.”

“You stole a _pregnant_ dog.”

“Well, Lucky needs to take responsibility.”

“No. _No_. Clint Barton, you told me you got Lucky fixed.”

“I -- I couldn’t do it. I mean. I brought him to the vet when he showed up and all but -- “ Clint pinches the bridge of his nose and immediately winces. “I guess I was thinking about how it was when SHIELD brought me in.”

“We were never going to have you fixed, Barton.” 

An incredibly well-dressed man comes out of the kitchen, carrying two mugs of coffee. 

“You must be Kate,” he says. “I’m Phil.”

“Hi, Phil,” says Kate. “Are you an accountant? You look like an accountant.” She glances at Clint. “And your shirt’s on inside out. Also, I think it’s mine.” 

Clint makes a choking sound. It might be because the shirt really is very tight around the collar. And, also, the biceps but that's a distraction for another time. 

“So, how are we going to fix -- uh -- sort this out?” asks Phil, pleasantly. Kate gets the impression he says everything pleasantly. 

“I want to know how it happened,” says Kate.

“Well, Katie-Kate. When a boy-dog and a girl-dog love each other very much --” 

“ _Hawkeye_.”

It sounds better in stereo.

“I went in to Harry’s ‘cause I needed a whizz and when I got out-- well. Lucky wasn’t leaving enough room for Jesus.”

“Not exactly responsible pet ownership, Barton,” says Phil. Kate likes him.

“I’m not the one who leaves Lady tied to a railing every single day.”

“Lady?” asks Kate.

“It goes with Lucky,” says Clint. “Don’t you think?”

“No,” says Kate. “Not at _all._ Don’t you know who her owner is?”

.

Lady’s owner is the daughter of a crime boss who terrorises local small business owners and tenants and she’s engaged to one of his right-hand men, who's got to be about twice her age. Love moves in mysterious ways and Kate’s not gonna deny that but Lady’s owner does not look like a girl in love. She does, however, look entirely like someone who’d name her dog Princess Fluffy Cuddles Waggy-Tail. 

Maybe Lady is a better name. 

Lady is a beautiful dog, if a little unkempt at times. She’s a Jack Russell and Lucky’s a -- well -- whatever Lucky is and animal husbandry is something that Kate’s not going to dwell on for too long. 

.

“We could just return the dog,” says Phil. 

“Yes, but,” says Clint. “ _Puppies._ ” 

“So, wait.” Kate looks between them. “You’re Hawkeye’s boss?”

“Yes,” says Phil. 

“On so many levels,” says Clint. 

Phil clears his throat noisily. His cheeks look a little pink but it is kind of warm in here. Clint must have finally gotten around to getting the boiler fixed. 

“How about -- and I know this might be earth-shattering for you, Hawkeye -- but how about I go talk to Lady’s owner and explain the situation?” 

“You’re going to go talk to the daughter of a scary criminal and explain that her dog was accidentally impregnated by my dog?” 

“You’re right,” says Phil. “I’ll bring Hawkeye. Barton, you stay here.” 

.

No good deed goes unpunished. Lady’s owner wants money and she’s not exactly shedding any tears over Lady.

“I want to leave,” she says. “I just want to get away from Dad and from Fiachra but I didn’t want to leave Princess. When she’d run off, I thought - I thought now’s my chance. Except I don’t have any money.”

“We can help you,” says Phil. “If that’s what you want.”

“Will you look after Princess?”

“Oh, yes. Clint promises to take care of her,” says Phil.

“Clint? Is he your little boy?” 

Sure, Phil’s hot, for an old guy, and, sure, sometimes hanging out with Clint is more like babysitting but Kate feels suddenly very unwell. 

“Something like that,” she says.

Phil looks just as uncomfortable and shifts slightly in his seat.

.

“Thanks, Phil.”

Kate peeks around the kitchen door to see Clint and Phil sitting very close on the couch. Lady and Lucky are sacked out beside the couch and Clint’s hands are on Phil’s cheeks and they’re forehead to forehead. 

Huh. Who knew? Oh. And now they’re kissing. 

Kate clears her throat noisily and they spring apart, fairly hilariously fast. 

“So, Lady’s owner is safely out of a kinda skeevy engagement and on her way to Canada and you get a new dog, Hawkeye. I’d call it a win. Good work, team.”

“There’s just one thing, Phil,” says Clint. 

Phil’s face falls. “What now? I swear, if you’ve liberated more wildlife from the streets of New York, you’re on your own.”

“Just. How am I going to tell Captain America that I stole a dog?”


End file.
